“Dear Employee Assistance”:

“I am so worried about my 13 year old son getting into drugs.  He talks about other kids at school that have bragged about experimenting with drugs and alcohol.  I told him that drugs and alcohol are not allowed; I wasn’t sure what to say!  I am a single mother and left his father when my son was a toddler because of his alcohol addiction. My son is a follower, always wanting to fit in and be accepted.  He is not very good at sports and is only an average student, but has a great sense of humor and makes everyone laugh.  He is also a very kind person and a joy to have as a son.”

~ A Single Mother~

Dear Single Mother:

It sounds as if you and your son have a very close relationship.  He is certainly checking out your reaction, regarding other peers’ drug use, by sharing that information with you.  You missed a great opportunity to openly discuss the dangers of drugs.  I would bring up that subject again and ask him how he feels about these students using drugs.  Allow him to talk and ask open-ended questions, such as “How do you think drugs and alcohol can be harmful to a person?”  This is the time (possibly) to discuss his father’s drinking problem (i.e. if you can do it in a non judgmental way) and how it has impacted not only on your lives, but also his father’s.  Let him know that alcohol is a drug and it can create serious consequences in a person’s life (i.e. socially, legally, occupationally, academically, physically, financially and familial).  Open discussion needs to be ongoing and done in a way that is respectful without preaching or threatening.  Your son has a genetic predisposition to addiction because of his father’s addiction.  It is extremely important that he be educated on this when you’re involved in these discussions about drugs and alcohol. It is paramount that all children have an involved parent/role model.  They need respect, support and parental involvement in all areas of their lives, as well as fair and consistent rules and appropriate consequences for inappropriate behaviors.  Open and honest communication is essential if you want to keep your child on the right path.   Let your son know that no matter what, you are there to help him find a way out, even if it means he calls you and is under the influence of a mood-altering drug.

All teens need accurate information on illicit drugs and alcohol, so you will need to have reliable resources available that can provide all the necessary information. 

The following are online resources available that can provide all the necessary information:

National Clearinghouse for Alcohol and Drug Information www.ncadi.samhsa.gov;

National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA) www.nida.nih.gov;

National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA) www.niaaa.nih.gov;

Working Partners for an Alcohol and Drug Free Workplace, www.dol.gov/workingpartners. 

There is also a wonderful HBO DVD set called “ADDICTION” that you can purchase online by going online to the HBO WEBSITE and choosing “SHOP HBO” and then go into “DVDs”.  The price is $24.98 and is an excellent documentary on addiction for all ages. 

Life Management Systems EAP is here for needed assistance or more information on this topic.

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